Were you experiencing major Fear of Missing Out at the sight of this year's Glastonbury? Wishing you were in amongst the sweaty crowds swaying to notorious lip-sync fiend Ed Sheeran? Determined to go next year? Unfortunately, unless you were eager to show up to an empty field, the only music on offer being the light, faraway mooing of a herd of cows, then you'll have to wait until 2019. Glastonbury is taking a year off.
The festival goes dark every few years for a "fallow year", which allows the ground to recover from the excessive stomping of the thousands of festivalgoers that annually attend. The last fallow year was in 2012, and while we're not saying that the dazzling, barnstorming spectacle of Beyoncé's headlining set in 2011 was responsible for the earth quite literally shaking in its boots and requiring a year-long lie-down, it probably didn't help.
Glastonbury founder Michael Eavis had initially said that he was hoping to move the festival to nearby Longleat next year, but those plans subsequently fell through. He did tell The Guardian yesterday that he was already regretting the fallow year following the success of last week's festival, and claimed that he would put a 2018 festival back on the table if a mystery band decided to reunite.
"There's one band I want to re-form. If they re-form, I'll change my mind," he said, before adding: "It's not One Direction."
It is possible to register now for tickets to the 2019 festival, however. While registering doesn't mean tickets are guaranteed, you will need to register in order to access a unique code necessary for when tickets eventually go on sale.
Festival organisers have been particularly conscious in recent years of potential damage to the Worthy Farm land, following an abundance of festivalgoers abandoning their tents and belongings at the conclusion of the event. They also launched a Don't Pee campaign in 2016 which stated that festivalgoers venturing off into the bushes to urinate were threatening the land, and the future of the festival, itself.
"Peeing on the ground causes toxic pollution of the water table," the festival's website states. "The ground water runs into the central Whitelake River and down the valley for miles around. Wildlife and fish are affected if 200,000 revellers pee everywhere. The Environment Agency tests the water regularly, and has the power to close down the site if too many people have urinated and polluted the site."
So just remember that when you're avoiding the ripe, effervescent fragrance of the available portaloos and doing your business behind a tree, you're effectively murdering Glastonbury Festival forever. What a regretful toilet break that would be.