Father's Day is almost upon us once again, and dads everywhere are quivering with excitement. Okay, maybe that's an overstatement. Mother's Day has long outshone Father's Day, and many dads display a lack of interest as though it were a badge of honour.
But we know, deep inside, that you all love a bit of pampering – a day out that's all about you, or a nice gift (as long as it's not a pair of socks).
So we've trawled the internet for our favourite prezzies. There are pans for the chefs, whiskies for the whisky aficionados, sports car experiences for the petrolheads and stylish watches for trendy dads.
The best gift experiences
1. Lee Valley VeloPark cycling experience
Britain's love affair with cycling is showing no signs of slowing down. Thanks to the success of our professional cyclists in the Olympics and Tour de France, an increasing desire to be more active, and to live more eco-friendly lives, life on two wheels is in vogue.
Mostly, however, that means polluted, hair-raising commutes or days out in the country. But if your old man's still a bit of an adrenaline junkie with a need for speed, why not take him to the very site where the likes of Sir Chris Hoy and Laura Trott (now Kenny), strutted their stuff in 2012?
For just £45 each you'll get an hour on the track, including coaching.
2. Winery and brewery tour for two
This deal is a corker. For just £9, the two of you can tour the picturesque Chiltern Valley Winery and Brewery in Oxfordshire. The deal gets you behind the scenes access to the premises with explanations of how it all works. More importantly, you get two taste several of their wines, ales and liqueurs.
For the wine-loving dad, this vineyard tour in the heart of England is a must.
Bring out his - and potentially your - inner Clarkson by racing in some of the snazziest cars around, from Ferraris and Lamborghinis to Aston Martins and Porsches. As always, experts will be on hand to help him get the best out of his big day. With 19 locations to choose from, there'll certainly be a convenient one for you.
Best gifts for foodie dads
1. Le Creuset Signature Shallow Casserole
Does Dad fancy himself as a bit of a storm in the kitchen? Or maybe he's more of a gentle breeze? Either way, he'll recognise Le Creuset instantly – as will anyone who's watched a single TV cookery show over the past decade, where their rustic charm has been omnipresent.
What he might not see so quickly is that this particular Le Creuset dish is possibly the Le Creuset dish to end all Le Creusets dishes. Thanks to its heat-retaining cast iron skeleton and non-stick enamel skin, the shallow casserole can be used for just about every job in the amateur chef's kitchen: stewing, frying, braising, baking, and roasting. And at the end, it's about the most elegant serving platter a man can find (which means it cuts down on washing up, too.)
Comes in various colours – including our favourite, marine blue.
2. Make your own bacon kit
Home-making foodie kits are all the rage these days: pickling and smoking, bread and beer, even gin. We're a nation rediscovering our love for homemade produce, which is great.
What about bacon? Good old bacon. Sweet smoky bacon. Fatty, comforting bacon. It's not as glamorous, perhaps due to the bad press bacon's been getting of late. But making your own is fun, easy, and tasty.
For the fry-up loving dad, this kit comes with all you need to get curing (except the pork, you'll have to head to the butcher for that). Having made plenty of bacon at home, I cannot promise the uniform, smooth pinkness of shop-bought stuff. But for rustic charm and pride in curing your own bacon, it does the trick.
Useful tip: Head to your butcher and ask for deboned and skinned pork belly. Make sure to keep the bones (for ribs, stock, stew or soup) and the skin (to make some crispy crackling).
Gifts for beer lovers
£36 for 12 weeks £70 for 24 weeks £135 for 48 weeks
Everyone’s old man loves beer, right? BeerBods have the perfect Father’s Day gift for him.
Your dad will receive 12 of the best beers from small, independent breweries around the world, straight to his door every 12 weeks.
All of BeerBods subscribers drink the same beer (just one) each week (it takes a bit of willpower not to guzzle them all in one weekend) and share their views with other Bods during live online tasting sessions every Thursday at 9pm.
He’ll also receive an email every week telling him the backstory behind that week's beer, enabling him to wax lyrical about his new craft beer with confidence.
How to redeem your gift: Once you have paid, BeerBods will send you a gift certificate by post or by email if you prefer. The gift certificate will have a website link and a code for your lucky dad to redeem his gift online. The beers will arrive a day or two after that. So don’t worry if you have left it to the last minute.
Father's Day falls slap bang at the start of summer, which means there are plenty of long days outdoors ahead: picnics, barbecues, sporting occasions, etc.
This also means, unless you've got a well-stocked cooler on hand, a lot of warm beer. Fear not, as you can now buy a Chillsner (see what they did there?). It's a nifty little device that helps keep bottled beer ice cold for 45 minutes.
All he'll have to do is keep the Chillsner in the freezer, and stick it in the bottle when ready to drink - no more beers ruined in the sun.
Best gifts for whisky-loving dads
1. Jameson Caskmates stout edition
Irish whiskey was once in the doldrums. After its heyday in the early 1900s, by the 1980s there were only two distillers left in Ireland. But it's now booming again, and the classic whiskey Jameson is playing a significant role in its revival.
Your dad has probably never tasted a whiskey like this. Its unique flavour and mouthfeel - smooth, sweet, nutty and chocolatey - comes from the intriguing production process. After being triple distilled, the whiskey is aged in old stout barrels from an Irish brewery, giving it an added depth rarely encountered.
It's a rather unusual whiskey, but very tasty - a unique tipple for the old man.
2. The Glenlivet Captain's Reserve
Glenlivet is often dubbed "the single-malt whisky that started it all," and, while that's a big claim, it's certainly a traditional, well-established distillery in the north of Scotland.
It opened in 1824, but still produces some of the finest single malts around and would certainly be a welcome addition to any father's drinks cabinet.
The Captain's Reserve single malt is finished in cognac casks, giving it welcome, raisiny hints of brandy and a smooth creamy feel.
3. Smooth sip and shave experience at Barber Barber
Here's a novel idea for you and your dad: a sort of man's man spa, available in Birmingham, Leeds or London. If you're both a little hirsute and looking to spruce up for summer, or just love a bit of pampering, this day out, available to book until 30th June, is the one.
First, you'll get a top-quality wet shave from the master barbers of Barber Barber. If your pa's never had a professional wet shave (or, if you've never had one, and need an excuse), go now. It's wonderful, and you'll both look a decade younger. Guaranteed.
If your Dad's a bourbon fan, this bourbon will be right up his street. Hailing from Evanston, Illinois, FEW Bourbon is packed full of toffee, clove, vanilla and warming spice goodness and presented in a striking bottle adorned with a label showing off some local heritage - namely a scene from the Chicago World’s Fair of 1892.
This spirit, distilled using timeless liquor-making techniques, utilises a three-grain recipe that infuses generations of Southern tradition with the spiciness of northern rye and a touch of malt for smoothness.
FEW is handcrafted through a small-batch process in charred oak barrels to age its bourbon whiskey. The result is a vibrant bourbon filled to the brim with character.
1. Marshall Major III Bluetooth Headphones
Chances are, Dad still thinks he's a bit of a rocker, even if he knows you cringe at his love of Steely Dan (older dad) or Wilco (younger dad). And he's right: those are great bands, and you're wrong to mock.
Anyway, generational sniping aside, the point is that he'll know Marshall because their amps have adorned the stage of rock gigs for as long as any Glastonbury regular can remember. These days, Marshall have diversified a bit: they now do a classy pair of headphones, heavy on bass and style, that also offer over 30 hours of wireless Bluetooth playtime.
So go on, indulge the old man. At least this way, you won't be able to hear when he plays his music to himself.
2. FLIR ONE Pro thermal imaging smartphone camera
This small smartphone attachment (iOS or Android) pulls a cool little trick: it turns your mobile into a thermal imaging device, so you can see what's hot and what's not.
Great for DIY around the house – picking up on water leaks, identifying dodgy double glazing, the type of stuff that Dad loves to bang on about. Take it off him if he starts showing you pictures of his guffs, though...
And one for all dads...
The Minimalist Watch by Linjer
Here at Telegraph Men, we've long been searching for a simple, elegant watch that carries no branding on its face – and we think we've finally found it. Start-up design brand Linjer have two men's watches that fit the bill: The Classic, which has debossed minute markers; and an even more pared down version called The Minimalist.
We'd probably plump for the latter, just because we like keeping things as simple as possible, but either will please the dad who values understated style. Plus, when you give it to him, you can say "time is of the essence", which he'll love, because it's a bad dad joke and that's the kind of thing that keeps him ticking (groan).